Don’t give them an answer, just tell them what you believe

For the past two weeks I’ve been preparing for a presentation I’ll be delivering to an out-of-province client. Doing so has brought back some old memories from a few years back when I was coaching someone for an interview they were really hoping to nail. I created this post to talk about something that ended up being a really powerful moment in my career and a real eye-opener in terms of taking advantage of certain opportunities to shine. It was the kind of thing you look back on, and only now can you understand the profound effects it’s going to have (or already has had) on your life. Before I start droning on about my delusions of grandeur, I’m probably getting away from myself a little bit here…

I’ll first explain a few things about the organizational structure here at Online. It’s generally flat with only a few managerial and executive positions. A handful of executives, couple of directors, throw in one or two administrative staff and that’s really it, not bad for a company of like 300ish people. The remainder of the positions are filled by the consultants.

In addition to the management roles described previously, we also have a number of senior individuals (from the consulting pool) who have been identified as ‘leaders’ and act as mentors for the less experienced consultants within the organization. The idea is that while we hire all kinds of great people, the people who are more experienced are assigned between one and six group members (mentees) to whom they can provide advice and guidance. The mentees have a clear and direct connection to some of our best people and have a real opportunity to become even greater. YES!

Get it? Good.
Don’t? Well it’s not super important you understand how this all works anyway.

Before anyone reads this and starts thinking:

Hey wait a minute… if you work for a good company you wouldn’t need just ONE person to act as a mentor for the group members … EVERYONE can contributing to everyone else in different ways / areas.”

You’re absolutely right.

At the same time, that’s also exactly how this works; while it’s true that everyone is assigned a mentor, you always have the option of talking to anyone within the org who you believe could provide value – you just get the added benefit of starting with someone dedicated to checking in on your well-being. The idea here is that if we’re falling back to Simon Sinek’s idea of the circle of trust, having someone immediately on day one that you can turn to and start establishing a closer relationship built on trust is just straight-up all upside.

Aaaaaaaaaaaanyway … Long story painful, as it turns out, I’m in one of those mentor roles.

We’re aware that with great power comes great responsibility, and while being a mentor is really worthwhile experience for me, it’s also a lot of work. As a result, there’s still some organizational processes around the selecting who should and shouldn’t be promoted to a mentorship role. It was during a conversation with of the members of my group that I had this really awesome experience. Ironically (like Alanis style, not Merriam Webster style), this discussion was regarding their interest in becoming a career mentor themselves.

The two of us sat down to go through some examples of questions he might be asked during the interview portion of the application (more on the process another time – and my not-so-humble opinion on the usage of interviews ((Me? Not so humble? Naaaaaah))). I posed a few questions to this particular mentee starting with:

“Why do you want to do this job?”

His response? He started telling me about how he likes working with people, his ability to connect and understand others, and his interest in growing the skills of his co-workers.

Well hell, that’s pretty damn good, no?

Sure it is, if you were going for a generic response better geared towards succeeding in interviews held on those little benches in the middle of a shopping mall. We weren’t talking about becoming a store clerk here, we were talking about succeeding to a mentorship role in this great company he works for. His eye contact was only so-so, body language was leaving him bent over in his chair, and generally I just didn’t buy in. So, I leaned forward and asked him to tell me a story about his son.

He started… and the difference in delivery was immediate…
2His eyes brightened, his posture improved, he smiled, it was like I was talking to a completely different person. It was incredible. I sat there smiling, let him finish. and then we broke down the differences between the two responses he gave. We discussed the difference between simply telling me what he thought I wanted to hear (his first answer), and what he truly felt and believed (the second). When he was communicating from somewhere deeper, something that mattered to him, something with which he had a real connection, suddenly there was some real power and conviction in the message he was sending out.

The issue was that at first he was concerned about saying the “right” thing to the “right” person in order for them to believe he was the obvious choice for the role. The key thing to understand is that if you are, in fact, the right person for the role then telling them what you believe will only confirm this to the person on the other side of the table. Conversely just giving the right answer could result in succeeding to a position, landing a contact, etc. that you only thought you wanted but in reality weren’t truly suited for.

It comes down to understanding yourself. Understanding what got you here. Understanding that the person you are is the result of the sum of your experiences (and the experiences of your parents/predecessors/etc.) and that is a valuable thing in and of itself. For those that sometimes struggle with trusting their own instincts, I often suggest turning to a (somewhat) well known piece written by Portia Nelson called Autobiography in Five Short Chapters (if you haven’t read it I literally can’t recommend it enough). It has been an amazing catalyst for change and clarity in a ton of situations that I’ve faced over the years. I think I also like it so much because it really highlights the difference between fault and responsibility so clearly (something else I’ll have to get on my soap box about one day).

3

As I go to back to prepare for this presentation, I have to reflect back on what got me here, why the client had selected our proposal for their short list, and how I’m going to absolutely rock their socks next week.

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